I watched the most depressing movie this evening. "Revolutionary Road" shows the decline of a supposedly happy relationship into one of mutual dislike and loathing and the fallout that comes from the disintegration of that relationship.
There are the obvious things like the effect on children (mostly ignored in this film) and surrounding people. However the end of the film shows four ways of dealing with the "self-loathing" – maybe that word is too strong – the way in which the couple themselves each deal with it, the way one old man turns down his hearing aid to avoid the problem, and another couple use it to make themselves stronger. I hope this has not given away too much about the full story of the film….
One can rationalise it any way, but every time a loving relationship fails the operative word is "fails". People allocate blame, but a relationship often fails because somebody made an incorrect choice. Maybe it was never right, maybe the season has turned, maybe other people are part of the equation. Watching people living together, it seems so artificial somehow – how such a tenuous thread ties people together.
How do they know when they go into the relationship? How can they trust themselves to have made the correct choice? How do they know it will last? There is of course no real answer to this. People always have and always will enter into partnerships with others – of either sex. How they cope with the inevitable compromises of the "bargain" is part of the answer as to how it will last.
I do not have the answer. Maybe I have not the wisdom to see the answer. I watch other people and wonder. I am sure I will talk about this again, but I have got it out of my system for the night and hopefully will manage to sleep ….
On a much more positive note…I arrived home this week to see that my Frangipani plant has decided to flower and has been covered in florets. It is simply too beautiful (and redolent) to not put here. This photo shows the flowers on one branch and behind them the buds which will come into flower once the present florets die away. A sort of the circle of life. My mother wrote to me to tell me of a friend who died last week and in the same email about a new arrival in the family – in this way the circle can be seen….I guess you could say life is a "Revolutionary Road"