Valentines Day revisited

This is based on the text of my Valentine’s Day blog from 2008. Not much has changed. Shorter, maybe a little less punch (?), but still with the same message….if you are happy in a loving relationship, show it and celebrate it every day of your lives together – even if you are far apart!

red-roseValentines Day is for star-crossed lovers or married couples that need reminding that they do (or did once!) love each other enough to get married…

How about the fact that there are 365 days in which to celebrate one’s love…? One man said to me that " The lady expects it…" Well by all means expect it, male or female…expect it each and every day of your life together!

Your answer may well be that it is easy for me to say, which is true. There would have been nobody expecting anything from me on Valentine’s Day. However it is the commercial compulsion to display affection with an outpouring of money is something that I find disturbing.

If I were in a loving relationship, I would hope that my partner knew of my love from my actions and words throughout the whole year, without having to go through the farce of a V – day gift. It becomes totally meaningless if it is compelled – rather like the confession of a tortured prisoner – and maybe that analogy is not too far away from the truth in some cases….." If you loved me you would….." ….that is what people say to try to coerce the object of their lust/love into something that they don’t really want to do.

So after that release of venom….if you are in a loving relationship, I hope that you do find some way of celebrating it each and every day. If you do, then you are indeed a fortunate couple and you do not need the vicissitudes of Valentines Day. If you DO need Valentines day to feel that you are part of a loving relationship, then maybe you need to look at ways of improving or ending that relationship….

About David Adlam

I am a conductor, composer, clarinettist and examiner for Trinity Guildhall working in Auckland, New Zealand and overseas
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